I'm dripping with motivation, things are looking good

Here we are in the perfect not too warm nearly summer sunshiny days of a Sacramento spring. Today was an odd one where Samuel did'nt sleep from 2-5. So what do you do with a kiddo at about 3:30 in the afternoon when the pool opened down the street last weekend? GO! Yay. We got there and met some friendly kids who were waitting for them to open the doors at 4. Then our friends from capital city church international show up. mary and her three kids and due with the 4th in three weeks. These guys are so fun and sweet and i just see pleasant Holy Spirit love all over them. She did'nt wear her suit but totally sat on the edge and let sam hang onto her wet skirt while he would'nt even grab my shorts at all. But hes a fish and i think he thought he could do like the older boys and be all over the place. He did'nt do anything too scary for my nerves, but he will probably be swimming in the next year or so. then theres Patience who blows me away all over the place. Today she was not freaked at all even when we first went in and it was pretty cold til we could adjust. The whole time she was wanting to be pulled all around to get up on the edge and then jump back to me again. I am super blessed with such daring kids. I think that we could'nt be luckier. i would go on and on about her right now but i could probably catch you all up on my success at dieting with the time i have left before we put on The Family Stone at 9.
I have stuck with every last thing i've made my mind up to do. No sweets. No eatting after 6 at the latest. 4 meals a day that are about 3 hours apart. 8 minutes in the morning of light weight lifting and resistance training. And now i'm looking for tips all over the place. Like yesterday i read some good info on eatting most of my alotted calories earlier in the day and saving the lightest meal for last. Can you believe that tonight for dinner i had a bowl of soup that was 1 and a half cups and that did it. Maybe its because its my favorite soup in existence and maybe its because i made it so hot and had to eat it so slowly, but i was really satisfied. thats like dietese! satisfied... thats probably a word i never ever used until i started this new way of life. Like Christianese. Anyways, i feel good and hope that i keep losing 4 pounds a week, because that would be double what i thought i'd lose in a week. AND...That could put me at my goal by the end of JULY!! I sort of have a new goal beyond my first but it does'nt have a goal date or a threatening picture attatched to it. I want all my girls to be encouraged here and to know that what you come up with can work and it does'nt have to be unbeleivable, just reasonable. But now i'll get off my soapbox and say goodnight.

I am being realistic here

So i got all excited by this beachbody website that guarantees in 90 days you can have the most excellent beach body imaginable. I BELIEVE IT!!! i do. i have seen their before and afters and Chrys and Jacob say it totally works. I would drop the cash and buy it right now, but i am realistic. I have done my weight lifting two days now and that is like 10 minutes with the stretching and how do my kids not let me do that but barely. So 30 minutes might be possible one day. when i put more thought into how i can distract them or pen them up or something. Maybe that day won't be far off. But now i'll give my 28 days (from the 8 minutes in the morn) their full run and if its not enough i'll go on to bigger and better (and probably a lot harder) things. Oh my oh my. Its gotta be the best thing to happen when Elena and both Renees got this plan going. I have the support that every weight loss plan says is its secret. Stoked!!!!

This is how it is

Today is an eye opener to how this new life style is going to feel. It feels GREAT! I woke up after a sort of restless night. P went to bed with a fever and then woke up three times wanting milk and that was fine, because she could have not wanted to eat and then i would have been concerned. I finally gave her ib profen and that let her sleep without waking til 7:30. Plus the fever seemed to go away. Sam slept well and maybe because daddy told him to sleep in for me he did sleep til 7. So these are good things, but what feels really great is how lifting weights has given me some energy that came out of nowhere. All i did were 4 sets of 12 reps of dumbell presses above my chest (while lying down), and two-arm rows while leaning (forward in a chair). I also did stretches after that were maybe controversial in my home. Sun Salutations is what they're called. I guess they are part of any normal yoga routine, but i'm doing them to the glory of God, and i think they are perfect. The book that i read is by Jorge Cruise and he suggests three stretches that are all contained within a sun saute and that just made me think of doing one of those insted. So now i ate breakfast and feel like going for the day with a new life in me. Like now sitting does'nt sound like fun. A walk would be really nice. I would Love a bike ride. So now P is awake again and i'll get her and we'll probably all go if shes feeling ok. I hope that this is a motivator for my friends and i also hope to keep reporting on my progress so i can see over time where i started from and be proud. On a side note. Eatting every 3 hours works beautifully and i feel like at every part of my day i am fueling my body and not doing what i'm used to. Which was normally eat so i have the pleasure of the taste and of feeling really full and so on. Anyways, i am excited and ready to go go go.

How sad for poor me...

Just Ed getting home to his ecstatic wife and me right behind her saying is scott here wheres scott did he come home too. All with this wild leaping heart and huge smile. No, not scott. Kenny dropped off Ed on his way to the city to give Camilla this happy wild feeling that shes been waitting for all week. And then i plummet and get mad and everything that had made me so happy moments before seems dull and then i call scott to give him a piece of my mind (because Ed said scotts staying through the weekend), but his phone puts me directly to voicemail. So sad. Especially because Sam ran to the door to see the Ershbocks embrace and heard me excited about Daddy and then the aforementioned letdown....I think i'm over it now though. We had a little puking all over the couch and blanket and his clothes and my clothes incident soon after the big letdown, and then into the bath and now a cartoon and back to my comforting cup a joe that i gave up yesterday but can't go without for this minor stress level increase. Whats 60 calories anyways. Maybe we'll walk to the farther park today.
Slight interuption just there. Scott called and i knew it was him so i did'nt care if it was'nt and i answered 'this better be scott'. It was and boy am i glad because who wants to call someone and hear that!! But do you know that because i'd been writing, and sort of releasing right here, on my way to get the phone i resolved to share love only and be a good girl. The cruelest thing i had to say was 'this better be scott'. After that i said how i felt like a huge wind was let out of my sail and like a balloon who'd been popped. He said he was sorry and the phone has'nt worked since it died in the middle of our last conversation last night. But he used Todds phone and will call again after 9 tonight because then its free. Then i wanted to tell him about Sam and our phone conversation inexplicably died and i don't have Todds number so thats that. Oh, he did say hed come home tonight or tomorrow night. Thats a big difference in my book, but i'm once again excited. I always do better with a little bit of a plan. But now i gotta figure out if Sam is better and i should get him out into the fresh air, or if hes still unwell and needs some more couch recovery. i feel better anyways, as long as i don't get sick it should be a fine day.

getting down to it last night

Well when i did get down to it last night i've really been consuming on average 1400 calories. I had left out counting the 1/2 and 1/2 in my coffee and some other things i don't remember now. But i'm giving 1/2 and 1/2 the boot and also will cut back in the milk department with 1% instead of 2 and Renee and i figure that salad dressing is very fatty and contains tons of calories and could be replaced with other tasty flavors.
Oh my goodness! Last night i could'nt find the take a 'picture on a timer' option on my camera so i decided to take footage. It was terrible. On my way to get in front of the camera you could see me from behind and that was bad but not the worst. How is that my head up on top of this body. I guess we've been going without a full size mirror for some time and now i'm way freaked. But i will be sticking with my plan, and as soon as i get someone to take the picture, or else find the right option on my camera off it'll go to Elena. But last night i was wearing a 2 piece and that will be an absolute no go next time. Good wake up call for me but still embarassing enough in a 1 peice.
Well, i guess you all wonder why i don't write my mommy stuff here and figure out another blog for this. I tried to do that and did'nt know how. I will find some help next door though and then you can just look for my updates by linking to that blog.
I love all the support this is generating and i am on the track to becoming someone who could be in front of a camera rather than only behind. And maybe i'm holding out hope for an anniversary trip to some fun water spot. October 27th will be 5 years married to the best man there is.

be warned, this is mostly about my new diet

So i am on the low calorie band wagon and i have chosen the 3 hour diet to get me to my goal of *132* lbs by October 15th. The 3 hour diet is like this, as far as i know without reading the book... You must eat within one hour of waking up. Every 3 hours after that you eat a small meal, like clockwork. Seriously, you can like set a timer if you have to. Last of all, you stop eatting 3 hours before bed. So do you wonder what my two days have been like since i've begun? In one word...Successful! I do have to be really intentional about this whole thing but it seems to be just up my alley. The meals are like; a bowl of cereal to begin with (measured out exactly, because i've been known to go overboard on bowls of cereal.) 3 hours later 1/2 a pita with homemade hummus (like 1/2 a cup) 3HL an open faced pulled pork sandwich with veggies on the side. 3HL a big salad with tomatoes cheese egg lunch meat all rolled up... This is gonna work and because last fall iread dr. phils book i already know about portion size so my 1st day, without counting, i completely stayed within my 1200 and less calorie range. With breat feeding i should begin to lose 2 pounds a week and hopefully i will get some excercise in besides all the mom type excercise, i.e. walking to the park, chasing two toddlers around the house and yard, leisurely walks with husband and close friends. I'd like to join curves but i don't see how i could. Weight training needs to happen for sure. Will my skin ever forgive the weight i've gained and go back to normal?
So all that blah blah blah and now the exciting part. Me and elena and the renees were in need of a motivating factor in all of this and since we are all not rich in material goods i thought maybe i had a solution. I saw it once on 20/20 or some such show. These people all had to get their photos taken by a professional in their bikinis and speedos. They then had to lose 20 pounds or so by a certain date and if they did'nt meet their goal then their photos would show up on 20/20 for the whole world to scrutinize. Needless to say they all did it. Who would'nt with a threat like that? If anyone evr saw me in a bikini today i think i'd cry. If all my friends saw me in one i'd be mortified and could probably not show my face. So now you see what i'm getting at. You would do anything to keep those photos from ever seeing the light of day.
Today i'm going to take a picture of myself. Not in a bikini, because then i'd probably make people puke if they had to see it. But then again no one will ever see it anyways so why not go for it? And then the stakes are even higher. I will then email this photo to elena who has helped me set up my blog and knows my password. And i will swear her to never looking at that email unless oct. 15th arrives with me not having met my goal. And i will let her post it to my blog. I myself will also post it on myspace and then i'll crawl under a rock and die.
You see now how this works? IT WORKS!!!!!!! I will work. It will be hard and i am up for this challenge! Even when the initial excitement wears off i'll still have my very good friends to keep me accountable and this photo.
Hopefully you all will not think that this is all my blog will be about now. It won't be. But i'll keep up with the updates and we'll see....

My first experience with a pushy doctor

So today is the day that i was looking forward to for a week. Even longer actually. I've been wanting to get the kids to the doctor because people always ask "how much do your kids weigh, have you had them vaccinated, what percentile are they in?" This is mostly their grandparents, but also others at times.
I was excited that this doctor was only 4 blocks away and then it all crashed down on me in the waitting room. I was early to the appt. and got a good look at what i was in for. No toys for the kids to play with. The only thing they wanted to do was climb under the glass coffee table that i could tell was a danger to them. I could just picture my beautiful little Patience underneath and then Sam crashing something down on top while she is cut into a million pieces. Then every face is completely unsmiling and ununderstanding. So it takes them forty five minutes to see us. This whole time my weeks worth of excitement is carrying me through. This is the appointment that i have anticipated because sam will get his ears checked and that is the springboard to his getting recommended to a speech pathologist. But back to the appt. The nurse was lovely and we found out that P weighs 19 pounds and Sam a whopping 36. Which is 2 less than i thought either of them to be. Which hopefully means that i am 2 less also. Then off to room 5. The usual questions as to why i'm there and i say its just to have their eyes ears mouths checked. No i don't want any vaccinations. Yes i've done my research and i've made an informed decision with my husband and am confident that its the right choice. So exit the nurse and enter the doctor. He says right off that he'll be insisting on the polio vacs and then i say no then he says he must give P a hep b and i say no. Then he says he cannot be responsible for my choices and won't be able to see my kids. I say that will be fine with me and will he please just generally check the kids and he does and says the're in perfect health and don't need to be seen for a year. Then my next request is a hearing test and he says no, Sam would'nt sit through it and anyways if my concern is his speech that'll all naturally come together when he enters school. By now what should i expect. I was ready to go, and he was ready for me to go. But do you think i was ever unkind this whole time, or freakishly uneasy? Scott would probably guess that i was. Even possibly bad and irrational. I admit that there are times when i would have, could have, been. But not today. I counted this visit a loss and was only gentle and firm and nice and thats that. So now i still want sam to see the speech pathologist. Not that i think he has a disorder, maybe just a delay. But i am no professional, and they say that a mom/dad would be the one who has a feeling if something is'nt quite right. Anyways, more on this when we take him and that is still exciting to me. He is so eager to learn and when we practice things he really gets them. I just want more tools to help him get words out right. He sees a shool bus and says "momma, want to go to school". Too precious! He thinks that school is like this carnival we went to at Levi and Jesses school. With a gazillion games and prizes and food and 10 suckers! What do you all think about various schools. In MI i saw a christian montessori school. That'd be cool. I would love for him to get spanish from day one. I could also see homeschool, but i am so anti social that i don't think i'd get him around as many kids as he'd like. Anyways, if you never get to the end of this days blog i understand and if you did and expect me to write like this often, i probably won't. But twas a good little time i've had. Now off to call my hubby who is still out of town.

So i have'nt written til now, but i've been storing up.....

I am sitting here after a good day, and a long day. On the way to church scott says, babe i've done some real thinking on this and i want to marry your cousin. (we've been watching Big Love while we still have cable) and one night last week i had a dream that he was marrying my cous rebekah and that i was going to be there on their honeymoon. But then he said, just kidding, he wanted to say that we ought to have another kid right away........or else!!! But really he meant that if we don't get all our kids out soon, and we wait five years, then we'll be fifty with teens still in the house. then i said, what about adoption. We could fix our fertility permanently then adopt a five year old in five years and we won't have the fifty year old with kids trouble. And we'll still have that semi big family that so many people say is fabulous! So sounds good, and we have'nt decided for sure, but i Do Not want to be all prego for awhile, even possibly for good. And i don't think its selfish, just using some wisdom here. My kids get as much of me as i have. Plus, i've always thought about this one, what about when i want to take these guys to Disneyland? And flights back to MI? I am way blessed with a boy and a girl and i can really see this being enough. Especially with scott saying its either right away or not at all.
Back to the rest of what made today a good un'. Oh my goodness!!! If any of you really knows me you know that i ADORE architecture and all homes of mystery. Homes that i'd walk by a hundred times in the city and just want to see inside, that hold me so much in awe....Today scott and me and the kids went up to the mountains, to Alta, wher Jesse Benkerts dad lives. It was beautiful on the way and then we get there and this house thats scotts putting a bid on is a crazy great victorian, on some exquisite property that i fall instantly in love with. the dog woods all in bloom and the bees just buzzing everywhere in delight. Inside, this house was insane! It was only filled wit hantiques. Hidden nooks and doors and stairs galore! I felt like a little girl! A dream home if there ever was one for me. A wrap around porch, an enclosed porch, the works!!!!! I just am realizing that Jesse is probably going to read this and she has partaken in the wonder of this home and hopefully will comment about its greatness. Also, the whole experience was summed up in what her son Nikkolai had to say about the hopes of having a certain holidCy there. Christmas! He wants to have Christmas at Big Grandpa (PaPa's?) house. The perfect perfect home for a picturesque Christmas. I will absolutely post pictures if scott gets the job and we spend more time up there. there is the off chance that i'll one day be invited to this home for say.......an unnamed Holiday? Just kidding, but it was lovely and i'm sooo rambling. Good day, anyways, just plain nice to be with my fam and all.